Need to figure out how to move forward (thread #4)

[shodan]

Sunday night after all of the kids' activities was interesting. My W went for a walk with the dog and my D10. I made some dinner for the family, opened a bottle of wine, and sat on the front porch to drink a glass and play the guitar (I am still very bad...lesson #4 this Thursday). My W came home from the walk and said "good idea" and I said something like "my guitar playing? Yeah, I need a lot of practice" and she said "no, the wine". She went inside, poured herself a glass and sat next to me on the front porch. Then the kids said that they were hungry, so she said "let me feed them so we can hang out here." We sat and talked for probably an hour. Not about our M, our R, the A...just random stuff. That night I went to bed before her and was watching a "chick flick." She came upstairs soon after I went up and laid in bed (basically on me) and said "so I bring coffee to you in the morning (she did that for the first time in a long time) , you will watch a chick flick with me. I like that."

On Monday we had somewhat limited contact...only texting about mundane kids stuff.

Tomorrow night I am going to a night yoga class and Thursday I have my guitar lesson. So contact will be pretty limited. I sense that my W wants to work on our R by taking small baby steps. I am avoiding all A, M and R talks. She still has not admitted to the A and of course has not given my access to her phone. The A could be going on still but her time in NYC has been somewhat limited the past few weeks. Assuming she goes to NYC next week for work (her job really does require her to be there) she would have been in NYC five nights in four weeks. Not exactly the recipe for a hot A.

Knowing my W as I do, she wants time and space. She needs to see that I have changed and that my changes will stick before she fully recommits to the M. She has a fear of being hurt again. Her big issue was my controlling ways. I am working on that every day and speaking with my IC about it again this Friday.