I agree with labug. You have to own what you did, 100%. That is really the only way that your W will ever be able to let go of her anger and forgive. Just continue to take responsibility for your actions and show genuine remorse when she brings it up.
I know it's hard, but at this point, you are probably more invested in the R than your W is, which means that you have to shoulder more of the responsibility for keeping the peace for now. Ultimately, if the R is going to work your W is going to have to take back her fair share, but all things in due time. (Trust me -- this is something that I struggle with often!)
