What goes around comes around...I truly believe this and I would not wish this hell on another person, even my worst enemy.

Something has happened within. I feel stronger than I ever have, their is little anxiety or fear. I could sleep last night--which is BIG! If I can sleep, I can conquer anything. I don't feel any different than I did during the time H was home or before H came home. I will be alright, I know that now and have known that for awhile. I'm still not going to like some things and some things are still going to make me cry, but I will be okay.

I do feel a new lightness again, a free feeling. I don't have to check in with the monster when I want to do something or be guilted because I have plans or just want to go to the mall.

I'm meeting friends tomorrow night for marqueritas, my good friend C says she could use one...if she only knew.. Her problems are nothing compared to mine, yet I will keep quiet and let C do the talking...which is usually what happens anyways. C thinks she has the worst H and is so unhappy, like I said if she only knew

Still not word from H. I'm expecting to arrive at home and the house to be cleared out...but who knows. If weren't for our wonderful S, it really wouldn't bother me at all if this did happen. But we do have a child together and I have to be there for him, I am his only parent right now and have to keep his best interests in mind.

Cathy