H doesn't want to see who else he is hurting. Then he would have to take responsibility for his behavior.
Op's family who seem "normal". Everytime H's ow comes home from a visit it's the same crap. You're using me.. I never intended to get in this situation, when are you filing...etc. Bottom line is somebody in her family was pointing out the obvious to her and she didn't like it. Just remember, ow doesn't care about you or your kids. She only cares about herself and the fact that she has somebody paying attention.
As you know from my thread I had a long winded talk at my H concerning our youngest son. Part of it must have connected. H did appear for his b-day dinner. And I just heard that H invited son and sonsgf to come over and BBQ. There is no way ow could be there, son would have exploded and left.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
