The "closer" we get the harder it is for me to stop thinking of OW and comparing myself to her. I think I am losing my mind trying to figure out why this happened and why her.

I feel like the WAW in the sense I am the one now who is VERY unsure of the changes/motives/relationship in general.

Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction