I'll take MLC for $1000, Alex...

[AJM]

It's a good idea to go back and talk to the IC. Figure out why it is you do care.

I am really reeling about this wedding thing. I don't know if I am reeling more because it hurts or because I am hurt by it? I keep creeping back to the thought that this is "it" for J and OW and they will live "happily ever after". I don't really believe in happily ever after but maybe I am the one with the problem? Does no one else see the madness in this?

Really? You aren't surprised she is SOOOO different right? She's needy, demanding, mean to the kids, unhappy, etc right? All those things must be opposite of you. How do I know? Because he was looking for opposite to you.

I remember when I found out about my ex getting remarried right after the divorce was final. It hurt. Why? Because of the lies etc. She was dating him while telling me she was working on the relationship. Then the pictures of my kids with their mom at her wedding a few months after the divorce.

It stung at first.

But looking back, that was a good thing for me. It was a point of a) no return at all. Game ender for me without question and b) because I noticed the sickness of what she'd done for the first time. It gets worse in her case, but....

The important thing is that you realize he's not well. You are the prize. You are the mark he is navigating by. It's just that he isn't well and is running from the good stuff. Kind of like a punishment of sorts, but it has nothing to do with you. More like he feels you are too good for him and he "needs" the opposite.

I would also be very surprised if he ends up happy and content. Floored actually. He'll say he is, but it's not real. He's too busy running from whatever he's running from to be content and happy.

Don't worry that it hurts, WH. Don't worry that you think it shouldn't. You had a long marriage with him - of course it would hurt.

Just don't let it hurt for a long time. I doubt it will.

AJ