The book is on www.rejoiceministries.org in the book store. I really like this book and have read it about 10 times so far. Every time I feel myself saying Why Me?, I go and get the book and start reading. Then I start seeing because it is written by the man that did the same thing to his wife.
It gives me strength and courage along with the word to keep hanging on. The Lord can do anything and he is putting the desire in your heart to pray for your husband and it will stay there until your husband returns and gets saved.
He can not do what needs to be done on his own. No more then you could get through what you had to go through on your own. He needs the Lord and he needs his help to get through this. He needs the Lord to forgive him, clean him and heal him. You are that light that is going to be used.
It is good that you are getting angry about what is going on, but just don't put that anger on your husband. Put it on the person that is doing this and that is satan. Satan has him bound by alcohol and he can not break that bondage on his own.
Stand strong and trust the Lord. I do believe that your husband right now is feeling much shame and guilt for what he has done. He will try to cover it with many different things, but that shame and guilt will not go away until he faces and repents of what he has done.
