Well, even though I know I shouldn't have I returned one of her phone calls today. She didn't leave a message so I called her back. She was calling me to come and get her and take her in to the doctor because she was having major anxiety attacks. She refuses to go in on her own.
During a panic attack, it's hard to drive safely. I"m glad she's seeking help and reached out to YOU...and btw, "in sickness and in health" are easy things to say. THESE are the times those parts of our vows are tested.
Clearly your wife is NOT well, so please keep that in mind...
She has even asked the nurse at her work what she should do as far as the attacks go. She did not attend school again today because of that reason and others. ???
Today I told her I would take her in if she needs to but with my busy schedual with the kids and after school actvities she would have to let me know. I told her if the reason she is not going in is because of me then she should ask her mother to take her in. And she said no that it HAD to be me. I validated for some reason, don't know why. well, because it's a positive that's why!!
We talked about money and bills and kids and ended the phone call.
How or what do I do to help this cycle. I don't want to be a jerk or anything mean. I do care about her a lot. I am lost at the correct course of action.
Helping the mother of your children when she is physiologically unwell, is NOT doormat behavior. It's compassionate, it takes strength, but if need be, if you cannot muster that up inside, then see it as something you are doing for your children.
Imagine how you'd feel if
1) she reached out to OM, instead of you during a panic attack; and or
2) how you'd feel if she crashed on her way to a doctor b/c you refused to help her b/c you were "setting a boundary" for her to follow - even while ill.
Food for thought?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
