No big decisions being made today. My head is all over the place today. If this is what H is going through 24/7 then I don't envy him at all.
With MLC, when do they come out of the tunnel? Is it acceptance or once they complete all six stages? If H is in withdrawl, my understanding is that H can only run so far back into the tunnel or is that wrong when they're as screwed up as my H?
H knows OW isn't good for him. He told me not to long after he moved back, the night of the BIG blow up, that he "probably loved" OW, wanted to be with her, and yet he couldn't figure out why he felt so shi**y. H also said he'd wished he'd never met her, he wanted to take a gun to his head and blow it off. I'm assuming he's still feeling this way and that running to OW again, living with OW is going to be a lot different then before H moved back here at the beginning of this year. H wants to be with OW, but if he's in withdrawl then OW isn't going to be able to do anything for H either, take away his pain. Am I trying to say that what originally attraced H to OW isn't going to work this time. H's pain is going to follow him to OW and things there are going to detiorate IF H doesn't move completely back in with OW.
Quote: He is screaming for someone to pull him out of this, but you can not do it. The only person that can pull him out is himself. There is nothing that you can do that can fix this or make it different. This is happening for a reason and the reason is for him.
Why can't he make a decision? What is he waiting for? I am praying and doing a lot of thinking on what it is I NEED to do for ME, for own son, for OUR sanity.
Something is telling me to hang in there a little longer and then the logical side of me says "you would be so much better off without H in your life" H is mean, abusive, he is insane and an alcoholic, H needs help and maybe it's time someone told him that..for his own sake.
