Also, back to your list - points 1 and 3 are positive, and related to you as a couple going forward meeting needs. Those are softballs.
Points 2 and 4 invite comparison of you and OW, all the while poking a sharp stick at H for what he did. They vividly bring OW back to life. And one of the things he liked about OW was that she wasn't the Spanish Inquisition. Those two points are land mines, for way down the road, after he's back in the house, and after you yourself can go for weeks on end without thinking of OW. I don't think you are anywhere near ready to talk about OW because it will set you into a tailspin.
