still holding on - 4

[u-turn]

Thanks Ahoy!

A bit of a backslide (though I tried to control it) - my nightmares and talking in my sleep are still problems sometimes and I had a bad night. We still sleep in the same bed and she is aware of this issue. She asked me if I wanted her to wake me up when it is happening, I said that it didn't matter.

I usually wake up in the morning a little out of control after a bad night (my dreams are sometimes very graphic - suicide, embarrassment, ridicule....). This morning I asked her if I can ask her something (wanting to get a status check) - she said sure. I was still coming too and realized that I didn't want to or couldn't ask her anything - so I basically "neverminded" it and said that I don't want to ask the same questions. She knows I want to talk but am holding back. I don't want her to think that she needs to help me with this - as I think this goes back to some of our original issues.

Good thing we are at work today - start of a busy week

I am trying to put out all of the fires at work that I started (due to my own lack of focus) and trying to make sure they don't catch any bridges on fire. STRESSED