[gan]

Well I made it back from Tanzania. A week in Maasai land certainly brings some perspective. Of course it all falls away when you are left only to your thoughts and mind-numbing movies on a 14hr return flight.

So, as expected, H is none the wiser that I've been away. No texts, vm or emails since I was gone. I did email him today as I found out I need to get his signature in order to terminate our lease. Yep - moving into my own digs on Sept 28. It's all becoming very real.

Right now I feel like I am only seeing the bad parts of my H (emotionally unavailable, avoider). They are pretty difficult qualities in a partnership. I think I used to tolerate those things as I was able to weigh them against the positives. It's getting hard to maintain that given the current circumstances…

Annoyingly, some of the work stuff that was stressing me out earlier in the year has reared it's head again. Early on in my thread I wrote about how one of our M issues is my relationship with my work (I brought work stress home and relied to much on H - not me - to manage it). I've been doing yoga and mindfulness meditation regularly to try to get myself to a calmer place but the recent resurfacing of the same old issues has made me realize I still need to do a lot more work. Or change workplace.

Must.not.make.any.drastic.decisions.