Welcome to the club, such as it is, How. I'm sorry you're here, but you'll get some excellent support from the group.
Keep your chin up!
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".