You have the right attitude. And yeah, while the books are pretty definitive on phases (GAL, LRT, piecing), the truth is that these things blend and bleed on each other.
You are also asking the right questions. The good news is, they don't all have to be answered right away. DB'g is weird - it's almost like you should tackle the easiest questions first. Read the affairs/infidelity chapter in DR - my guess is that erasing the OW completely from his life will be the last thing that happens.
We men (okay, most of us) are stupid about emotional things. He honestly might not have even thought about that mascara for 6 months. It could genuinely just be a thing sitting in the cabinet. I know that's hard to believe, but sometimes it's true. My W found some old postcards from a long-past girlfriend once...I had no idea they were even around (sitting in an old Army trunk.) She flipped out; I was like, hey, it's not like I had a kid with her (okay, I didn't say that. But I thought it.)
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
