Julie, Block her calls. You need proof of her threats and the only way to get them is either by recording the calls or she texts you. Right now, it's your word against hers. If you apply for restraining order, it will only fuel her fire and she will find other ways to torment you.
If he's not living there w/you, then he should not be allowed in the house unless you invite him in. Speak to a lawyer to see what your rights are to change the locks. I think you have a good case to do so...but you do need legal advice on that. Get an alarm system if you can't change the locks.
I agree w/Life Twists. Set up an exchange location in a public place and I would have very little to say to him.
Protect yourself as much as possible.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
