I have no idea where he went. I left right after he blew up. H is sick, told me "I hope you get this! I told him it was a mean thing to say.
I was supposed to go to the hockey game, S didn't want to go. S is whiney today and was sitting by H and said he was hungry and then H looked at me and said "get off your A** and make him something to eat! I said I will and didn't move right away. H said it again. I said I will and H said "Now! Then said I can't even f****'n be sick, I watched S last night while you were at the G**D*** hockey game and I don't feel good. I said something about the swearing and H twisted it to something totally different. I then said you need to have more respect for me and left the room.
H throws the remote again the wall and gets up and I'm getting S ready to leave. SS is downstairs calling a freind.
I took son to eat pizza, called SS asked if his dad was leaving and he siad I don't know he was putting his shoes on when I was leaving. SS then wanted to know what happened as heard the yelling. I said I don't know, nothing and SS sone agreed that he didn't think it was anything worth yelling about either.
So I'm sure he's OW's till who knows when as he took all his work stuff!! DAMN him!!
My S is upset and whiny and crying and H can just walk out!!
I'm crying and this is just Bullsh**, I guess he wasn't trying at all, just looking for an excuse to leave, AGAIN!!!
Sweetie, I was there a week ago!!! I wish I could call you, we could have a nice long chat. I know I've read your threads, but I just don't remember everything.
Now look, I'll be happy to chat here, but I need to go get the dogs. If you are on the boards now let me know. We can set up a time to "meet " again.
Pattie
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
Right now I feel like this is all a cruel joke and that the BB and everything has just been for nothing. It's like I want to just forget about the BB, forget about MLC--if there really is such a thing--and see a lawyer on Monday and move on with my life.
Laurie, bless your heart, your posts gave me such encouragement such hope...but wtf happened tonight? He's not in withdrawl or acceptance he's in denial and anger.
He's in love with OW, plain and simple, it's not an addiction, never was. He's not in MLC, he's just a jerk and a** and only cares about himself. He's not hurting any more than any other person I know. He's living his life the way he wants to live it..f***ed up! And this is what he's used to.
There has been no conflict for him living here. I've been nice, detached, loving, haven't been throwing anything in his face or making him feel bad. I just don't know anymore what to do.
The thing is I'm really not that upset, I'm calm inside, kind of at peace actually..maybe. I am crying off and on, but praying also. It's like a dream. I leave, H packs some stuff and sneaks away..again.
Why does he do this? Why does someone do this to themselves and then come back and blame the other person. And then he goes back to that stupid woman and she takes him back becuase she's just as pathetic! I mean he's married to me and she just doesn't F***'n care!!!!
Thanks DEB!! Thank you so much for being here with me tonight...you're an angel!
And I do feel better, I'm back to where I was before H moved back home. Life is good, I'll be okay, and even though H is important to me, he's not everything to me.
I think it is very noraml to feel this all is a bunch of bunk when H's go in reverse. I certainly felt this way for the last few days.
But then we get centered again. Realize it is their problem not ours. Sure we live through the fall out, but they are really a mess. We just need to "pick up our marbles and move elsewhere" for awhile.
Continue to stay calm. Do not lose your cool or anything that you have been doing. You are assuming everything right now and you don't know for sure anything.
According to the things that HB has shared with me with her husband, this happened to her when her husband was in withdrawal.
It is like they go through all the stages again and have to face each one. All the temptations are put in their face once again for them to make the correct choice and close the door on them.
This has been building up in your husband for quite some time. You do not know the guilt or anything that the Lord has been laying on him for the time that he has been home and to decide that he isn't going through something, he very much so is. Even your SS couldn't understand why he got so hostile over nothing.
He is still in the me mode and until he shuts the door on all things, he will go through this. When he shuts the door on all of the stuff the he has to face, then and only then will he enter acceptance and start to settle down some.
The calmer you stay, the more he has to face himself and the more this will get burned out of him. He is acting like a spoiled child and throwing a temper tantrum because you didn't jump when he said jump. You don't have to and this is the new you. He will either accept it or he won't, but one day he is going to have to stop running because he is going to be forced too.
According to what HB told me, it does look like they are going backwards at this time when they really are not. She said that her husband went through the same thing when he had to face his final fears and he got scared. She watched him go through this in fast speed because it only took him a week. Your husband could take longer or it could be the same amount of time.
Now is the time for you to stand firm and not be shaken. Let him go so the Lord can deal with him. Go on with your life as if like you have been. You have been doing an awesome job and this just threw you off.
Restoration and reconciliation is not easy and there are going to be some rough spots, but don't always assume that he has ran off to her. He may not have, he may have ran off to be by himself. You just don't know and that is the worst part of all of this.
Now more then ever is when you must stay strong and trust the Lord. Keep praying and stand firm. The Lord is not going to let anything happen to you or your kids. But he is going to deal with your husband in his way.
My prayers are there for you and they will continue to be there for you.
I told him it was a mean thing to say.