WAW...Again, Part III

[stumps]

And then... As I lay in bed, eyes half shut, doing a bit of pre-sleep mind clearing and some meditations on the good things in my life despite this current adversity, W at my side says "do you think you could rub me? I'm having bad anxiety and can't fall asleep." And I say "sure", but what I think to myself is "hey, let *me* tell *you* about anxiety, and what might cause it... like... having your spouse change her mind literally from one day to the next about how she feels about your marriage, and her commitment, and whether or not she loves you."

But I of course don't say this, because I am DBing. And I am outwardly cool, calm, and collected to the greatest extent possible no matter what I am feeling inside.

But I can't imagine that I would ever tell my spouse that I was done, that I wanted out, that I was indeed moving out, and then turn to her and ask her to comfort me.