I understand she's hurt more than I can comprehend, but HATE is a strong word. It's ugly. It's not who or how I want to be.
It IS a strong word but she's an intelligent woman and that is the word she has chosen. Doesn't that mean something to you? You have ignored her requests because you thought your way was better.
Now you're saying Hate is a strong word but guess what. She hates you with all the strength of that word. Why? Partially because you have not given her what she has clearly asked for which, incidentally, coincides with the advice you've been given by SO MANY PEOPLE yet you still do what you want.
You're still here though so I can't help but wonder if you are:
1. glutton for punishment 2. unintelligent 3. a narcissist 4. actually think this is where you're supposed to be but think you should write a new version of DB entitled, "if your situation looks unique, it must be - 8 ways to ignore MWD despite the evidence".
Your tenacity to plow through and do what you want, follow your "instincts" or whatever other cover-term you have for it, is frightening.
I'm theorizing you have control issues. BIG TIME. Am I wrong?
So far your journey to health has been for others, so you can "earn" them back. You're on the wrong path.
