There really are just so many unfairnesses of it all. The injustice of him walking away from so many responsibilities. It's my opinion that when a couple decides for one parent to stay at home, that's a commitment from the other parent to provide safety and security to complete the goal at hand be it to stay home until the children are in school or to homeschool or whatever. It's a breech of a HUGE commitment to disappear.
It makes me wonder if he's running from responsibility because he feels like he's not good enough to do it well, you know? Like he feels inadequate so why bother working SO hard? I don't know.
Here's the thing though... You're a strong momma bear whether you realize it completely or not. You are. Momma bears do whatever it takes to give their children the best they can. If that means you getting a job and having to leave the youngest at 6 weeks, then that's what you'll do. YES, it's not the life you planned on. YES, it's unfair and painful for sure!
THIS is what you're working on. Getting to a point where you can be that momma bear with everything you are despite H (not to spite but despite). You CAN do it as ridiculous as it is that you are now in a position to have to.
You have this strength inside of you. You do. I can see it.
One of the things I've struggled so much with is that the WAS can just leave without having to face up to everything they are leaving behind. They leave the LBS to pick up the pieces and the injustice in that is brutal. Unfortunately, it's also reality right now.
Hang in there. We're here cheering you on.
None of this is fun. All of it is hard and a lot of work. All of it is also worth it, I'm finding.
