Alright, my head is full of crazy questions. My thought process frequently argues both sides. I have a hard time knowing what I want because of this, lol....
So, the power part.... I cognitively know I don't have that kind of power....
But do I really know? It is a very egotistical way of thinking, isn't it? To think I can fix, change, control.... Egotistical to me means self-centered. Selfish, self serving.... Maybe?
Does insecurity come with a side of self centered -ness? But the low self-worth part... That is the thing that keeps me giving in. Because he is worth more than I am. His needs are more important than mine.
But if I give in, does that have an expectation of controlling the outcome....
Here's an overthought question.... Can a person (ok, me) be egotistical, and believe they have so much power, they can choose to give it away to serve the situation?
And is that being selfish, or generous?
Did that even make sense....
I don't even know where I was going with that. I'm not sure where to look.
