I understand the mlcer experiences mixed feelings as they really do not know what 2 do. He's been reaching out (!!?? what? ) ALL week. 'Reassuring touching', stroking/face etc. I even got a kiss (!) goodbye like old times recently. shocked Sadly, I do not trust anything b/c I know that even if (by some FLUKE) he feels something, that even h also doesn't know WHY, & it won't last.
The saddest part of all of this is the reminder that when the storm passes, it's the LBS that makes the decisions. By saddest, I mean it is for the MLCr. They may or may not wake up in time to stop their destructive behavior. If and when they do, the LBS may not be anywhere around. Or at least be inaccessible.
If and when he wants to come back to the M, there will be touch and go's most likely. For the LBS, we don't allow for the connection because we have been hurt before. We shut down. Slowly, almost imperceptibly while the MLCr cycles like a madman trying to push/pull/heal.
I think it's fair to say that you don't trust him or anything about his actions. I don't blame you. I'm not suggesting you should, but when you look down the road do you see a possibility? If you saw that possibility, what would the first steps look like? How would you react if they occurred?
I know for me it would be next to impossible to be overly cautious or too careful. But I'm not sure that's the best reaction, ya know?
I like the idea of going for a walk. I find that exercise is incredibly helpful. And the weather lately has been incredibly nice over most of the country. Always nice to get out and breathe
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
