I'm not loving his backing out of emotionally supporting you.
Yeah, I'm not loving it either! But, I'm comfortable with the idea that he sees it as a goal, even if he can't provide it now. Frankly, I think if/when he is fully re-invested in the R, he won't need to be convinced to meet my emotional needs because he will WANT to. So, I'm accepting that this is a temporary space, not a permanent one.
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Did you explain specifically what you need in that area? Do you want him to just listen to your feelings or to help you work through them? What do you see as his responsibilities here?
I ask because perhaps his tentativeness is because he sees it as a LOT of work and he's not willing to commit to that. Maybe?
I have not explained it, and you make a good point. It very well may seem overwhelming to him in its non-specificity. Primarily, I am looking for comfort (physical as well as verbal). I will have to think about how I would verbalize what I'm looking for, if needed.
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I am probably projecting here but it's hard not to see that as keeping you at an arms distance for punitive reasons. Is that how you see it?
I do see it as somewhat punitive. Like your H, my H harbors a lot of anger and resentment from the past. But really, I think my H is just tapped out emotionally and doesn't have a lot to give. I believe him when he says that he doesn't WANT to feel this way and that he is desperately trying to feel differently.
