Attagirl, S. You got through the urge. You redirected, you self talked and you did it.
I understand you wanting him to feel that. Be careful there, ya know?
So, a little more about the mirrors I mention and my friends write about.
One day I went to my therapist. I said that I realized that I saw myself as if in a mirror. But it was a mirror reflecting back what my mother and xh saw. When I looked in it, I saw who they decided I was.
She said, ok, so what does that mean you have to do? I swear it was like a lightning bolt hit me. I said, I need to get new mirrors. I needed to see what others see. People who were healthy and whole.
So, I listened and watched. I took in how people responded to me. I read what people wrote to me. There were mirrors everywhere. Out there and the people on here.
It took a while to believe what I saw and read, having used the old mirrors for so long.
I allowed myself to be made to feel unworthy and incapable with my old mirrors. With my new mirrors, I saw my worth, my strength.
I realized the most important mirror was the one where I really and truly saw me.
S, I see such strength in you. I see you wanting to get to where you need to be.
Those feelings of wanting to fix dont serve you well. They never really did because the truth is that we cant fix another person. We cant fix their circumstances. We cant fix their insecurities or their lack of self worth. We cant make them happy. Even if we could, we shouldnt.
We take away from them if we try. We take away their drive, their worth, their strength.
They have to fix all that stuff from within. The best way to love them is to let them because when they do it themselves, they can soar.
You are right, he knows you love him. He knows where you are. He knows where to find you.
So, let's keep digging in so you can be your best self. That's the amazing part in all of this.
Find your footing. Get good and strong. Then if and when he looks towards you, you get to decide what you want from a place of strength.
