Bright, Your train didn't derail, it's going up a mountain and it takes time to build up the pressure/steam to move along. You are the little engine that continued to say "I think I can, I think I can" until he made it to the top. This is how I see you.
Yes, you are going to have days that you feel resentment and anger. Try work through these emotions and let them go. You do not want them to fester and then explode when something small may occur.
We don't know what your h is thinking about these days. He may be sitting in a corner w/the shades pulled and only coming out to do his job. If he's depressed, he can't think about anything but himself and how he feels. He doesn't have the energy to think about what is going on in the world around him. When he is w/his friends, he very well may put on a happy face, but once he's alone, back in his room, that happy face is replaced w/the depressive one. It takes a lot of work to keep up the "happy" face for others.
Bright, you will know when it's time to build up steam and take the next boost up the mountain. No one can tell you how to do that or when. You are the only one that has the power to make that decision.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
