Crappy day transformed into some depression. Didn't get out of bed until 2pm today because I just couldn't stand feeling the same old agony in my body anymore. Tried some meditation and fell asleep again. Oops.
Even though I know for a fact that anything can change at any time, and I'm not supposed to believe what he says (because he's only focused on the negative and it takes a while for that to fade), I can't stop thinking about the things said in that text exchange last night.
There was a lot of blame on me, some deserved and some not, obviously only focusing on the last year or two of our relationship and apparently forgetting any good that ever existed in 8 years and about how he "so appreciates me as a person" but his "mind and heart are not on continuing an R with [me]".
I declared that focusing on the past wasn't fair when he had someone willing, ready and able to change those issues for the present and future, not only for herself, but for the relationship.
THIS is why you listen to the rules, kids, and don't get into R talks when your H/W isn't interested -- because it only hurts you.
When he came home last night with SD12, everything was "normal" in terms of he was friendly. He went out of his way to tell me good night when he finally turned in to bed on the couch.
I just can't get myself out of a hopeless head space today. And the weather is gorgeous, so I feel very guilty about wanting to hermit inside, too.
ALSO still wondering how I can get more input on my thread. I appreciate that one person has taken an interest but it seems like others pass it by, even though I post on others' threads, too. Hmmmmm!
Last edited by Two Sided Coin; 09/14/1406:54 PM.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
