Just reflecting on how blaming adversely affects my feelings towards H and inevitably creates distance between us. Its so hard NOT to blame and be angry...he had a frackin AFFAIR for crying out out!...but when I take a more balanced, compassionate view I can feel *myself* warming towards him and that draws him in. I could see in his eyes last night that he was withdrawing again. Even though I did not 'lose it' outwardly he knows me well enough to know what's running through my mind. It's so hard NOT to want to lash out at him, I feel so justified and all my friends and family feed that feeling. I need to keep reminding myself that this mentality hurts our larger goal of saving our M. I do want to be compassionate and understanding. I need to hear more about his hurt and unhappiness that led to the A.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
