I read your words again this morning and I think I have a better grasp of what you were asking. I'm sorry if I overreacted. Filing for divorce is the last thing I EVER wanted to do and I'm sensitive over it.
You and I have been at this about the same amount of time. And, I know you deeply love your H.
If you are feeling pressure on these boards to do one thing over another...you can ask people to back off. I've had to clarify my feelings, from time-to-time, in order to empower myself and remember that I the only one making these decisions. It's a heavy burden.
You, my friend, are a wonderful lady. You deserve all the beauty and fun the world has to offer. Whether you do this married or single isn't my concern...as long as you allow yourself to enjoy the life you've been given.
Honestly, if it weren't for the financials and the kids...I may not file. For me, this is the smartest, soundest decision for right now.
I trust the opinions on these boards. In MY case, Smokey was pretty messed up before he ventured into the tunnel. I remember Bea once said that MLC-ers come in two varieties: people that always had serious issues but managed to fake it for years and years OR people that really had great marriages and, then, Snapped.
Smokey was always messed up. I knew that then. I loved him and hoped for the best.
You are going to be OK. You are loved no matter what you decide.
Don't compare your situation to anyone's but your own. I think Job and others have commented that your H seems to be of the gentle variety and tries to reach out to you for silly reasons. That's a good thing.
No one says that about Smokey...Job has commented that he will probably be one of those that just remains lost. I trust this opinion. It fits with what I know.
I've had to get honest with myself, in my case, that Smokey has been somewhat content with his new life. While I've been pining for him...he has settled into a new life for himself with someone else. Yes, it bites...but, it's not stopping me from starting a new life of my own.
Bright, you handle this...one way or another.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
