PS Please Google "Dear Peggy" and read through her story and the articles written by her and her husband. Any emotion you've felt is addressed there. Wonka suggested the site to me months ago, and I just read through it again. It is more valuable to me now than it was when H and I were S.
There's an article or two on comparing yourself to the OW. I read them yesterday and today. I think they would resonate with you and be super-beneficial for you to read tonight, mdu.
Hugs to you.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014