1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 6

[Train]

Oh, honey.

I'd love to be able to advise you to waltz your pretty, confident as$ up in there and wink at her as you and H are heading out the door for lunch. I'd love NOTHING MORE than that visual!!!

But (sigh) that'd be pushing my eff-you personality on you instead of taking into account what *you* can handle. I don't know what you can handle. Only you do.

I cannot IMAGINE how hard it was for you to see and process that workplace.

Sometimes, we NEED to see certain things, or ask certain questions, to help us. And then when we actually see those things, or hear the answers, we sorta wish we hadn't seen or heard them.

Welcome to Pre-piecing101. Unfortunately, it's full of its own heartaches and confusion and doubts ... and all those other emotions we naively assumed would go away once we had our Hs back (or we actually didn't think about AT ALL because we had a one-track mind while trying to deal with the A and trying to re-attract our Hs).

It's time for you to dig deep, mdu, to find out what you need to know ... and how much you HAVE to have to move forward.

Sometimes, you may think you need something that later you realize is too painful. Or maybe you will think you DON'T need something that later you think you do.

It's all personal. No one can tell you at this stage what you need to move forward. It's trial and error.

All I can say, sweetie, is that my hat is off to you BIG TIME for walking through H's work, eyeballing her set-up, and not losing your sh!t. You've come a long, long way, baby.

Pat yourself on the back for that.

I don't wanna sound patronizing, but I'm really, really proud of you.