I would say pick a date, host but be THE life of the party.... as in be Mr social butterfly, you are busy in the kitchen then busy making drinks, then talking to everyone in the room BUT your wife.
Don't ignore her but don't engage her. If she asks you a question answer it as if one of the other couples was asking them move on to another task/conversation.
Busy yourself with cleaning up and getting everyone another round of drinks. Basically this is still a social event for YOU and you can still enjoy yourself.
When the last person leaves make sure the kitchen is clean and go to bed with a "that was a really nice night, good night" to your wife. And if she cooks the meal you could add in "dinner was delicious"
