My complicated but hopeful situation- - First post

[Train]

Hey, Bitzie.

I left our home for safety reasons
Can you elaborate some on this for us, please? Be as honest and forthcoming as you can; we are all here to help and support you and need all the information to do our best with that.

Second, don't believe a word coming out of H's mouth. That INCLUDES him flip-flopping on his feelings for you AND him telling you there isn't someone else. I'd say *at least* 9 out of 10 times, when someone hears from their spouse "ILYBINILWY" - or when they start acting like aliens seemingly out of the blue - there's an OP (other person) involved. (In fact, I'd venture to say it's more like 10 out of 10 times, but that's just been my experience and observations in real life and on these boards.) Sounds to me like your S is sort of confirming that suspicion in your sitch, too.

Some folks will say an A or OW (other woman) doesn't matter - that you should take the same actions to save your M regardless. I'm admittedly not one of those people. I think an OW being in the picture matters very much. Why? Because your H is NOT genuinely going to be working on your M as long as an OW is on the side.

I think it matters a lot for your strategy too.

Is there any intel you have (checking cell phone records, emails, ANYTHING) that could confirm whether there's an OW? There's a fine line to walk here. Snooping too much will hurt you a lot. But confirming whether there's an OW could *help* you a lot.

So get back to us on those couple questions, and we will all have lots of ideas and advice for you.

Hang in there! You've come to the right place!