It's been quite a roller coaster the last year and a half. My story in a nutshell is that a year and a half ago my wife had an affair with a co-worker. I filed for divorce and this past March my wife said she wanted to make our marriage work. We went to several counseling sessions that were really rough as she basically said she was not going to stop talking to OM. We stopped going to counseling and things got better. We were going on dates, sleeping on the same bed (no sex though) and she was texting/calling me more frequent just to talk, calling me pet names, etc. Overall, it seems like progress has been made.
However, I've come to find out that she is still talking to the OM (going out for lunch, texting him, etc). I even found a recent hallmark card he gave her telling my wife how proud he was of her and that he will always be there for her, etc.
Overall, my wife is still very protective of her phone but I do get the feeling that she is "just friends" with OM as she is almost always at home instead of going out. But it bothers me that she refuses to cut off communication with OM. I know that if I bring OM up she will have a fit.
I feel like I am living a lie. While things are good on the outside, I feel like it is a huge sign of disrespect that she still keeps this guy in her life, even if it is just as friends. On top of that, she just moved into the same department as OM.
Am I just deceiving myself into thinking that this marriage is good when it is not? We going on dates, I am holding her at night (but she does give me the cheek if I go for the kiss), and we are spending more time together. At the same time, I make a considerable amount of $$$ and sometimes I think that she is staying with me to support her lifestyle (I basically pay all the bills, any discretionary spending, etc - so I do feel used sometimes in that regard but she does not make a lot of money). I wonder if I am just wasting my time, if I should just pretend that OM does not exist even though he does. It bothers me that she never admitted to the affair or taken responsibility for her action.
