Keeping it real

[Zues126]

SS, I'm writing this in my post instead of yours, but nothing wrong with being dressed up with nowhere to go. A lot of vets say GAL is so critical and I can see why. For me, though, I was ways doing things during my M and wasn't good at slowing down, being in the moment, or being alone. I felt like I was missing out. Now I don't feel that way.

Maybe I'm an introvert by nature. Not sure. But I see me STBX going out, meeting other guys, and I'm not jealous. I just think its sad she has to offer her body for someone to tell her what she needs to hear to feel better. For me, the idea of making love with a woman that was anything other than a committed partner would just make me aware how much was missing, and how lonely I must be to settle for anything less.

So I'm NOT GAL, at least not in the meeting people/keeping busy sense. I still play pool as that is one of my gifts. But tonight I just talked with a friend for a bit, came home, meditated for a bit, and will now read a few chapters before turning in early. I'm not trying to impress my STBX with how awesome I am. I am who I am. She may never see he value or be in a spot to forgive my mistakes. That's her journey. I'm doing this for me. And I don't feel the need to be doing something special for me to have value. I have value here, by myself. And being OK with being here and now with no one else's approval and minimal outside stimulation is my biggest 180. Goodnight all!