Stop what you are doing. I walked this same destructive path. I did the same things to my H and did it with the same weeping resignation.
Bob, you need to realize you are bombing a deserted village. My IC taught me this. You think you are throwing bombs at your W but you are really bombing a deserted village. Your W moved out of the village after the last series of bombs you lobbed at her.
Your W said she was leaving the village but you weren’t listening. Your W said she thought she was in “this amazingly intimate relationship” and “suddenly learned she was wrong.”
Your response?
You sent your W an email whining about your pain, then filed a legal separation, then divided your property, then asked for your mail, and then showed concern for your dog.
The only time she exists is when she is on the passive/aggressive end of your harassing conduct--which goes unnoticed because as you do these things you anguish about unbearable pain you are suffering.
It's a common passive/aggressive trick. If we focus on your pain we ignore what you do to your W. Mr. Bond discussed this with you weeks ago.
Filing this court document is your latest attempt to get a rise out of her. You want her to get angry so you can take the moral high ground. “It’s not my fault—I had to do this. You weren’t giving me my mail.”
Bunk! Your exile is self-imposed. Nothing is stopping you from walking into your home, petting your dog and picking up your mail. You have not posted anything saying she filed a restraining order against you. Or she told you to stay away.
To the contrary. You want to avoid her because you don’t want drama.
I don’t see your W causing drama. I see her ignoring your obnoxious behavior. The more she ignores you the more obnoxious you become. Like a child poking his sibling you won’t quit!
Is this how you behave right before she launches into her “terrifying rage” that makes her so awful to live with?
You say you have been seeing an IC for over a year. I am in agreement with Claire7—it may be time to break up with your therapist. At the minimum I urge you to seek a second opinion regarding your conflict resolution skills.
