Hey Shining! I am getting a little caught up with you... That week or few days off I got behind, then I was so caught up in my own drama....
First, I am so sorry to hear about the match posting. That is heartbreaking. To think that he has to look for someone who he thinks will rock his world, or whatever, when he has YOU! Probably the best thing to happen to him, and he can't even see it. Man, they get so caught up in fantasy, that reality is totally gone. I am sorry, that's tough.
Here is something I have learned (for me) and I want to share with you. Take lots and lots and lots of time before you say anything. You will find that it helps for many reasons. For one, it will help with processing without reacting. Then you will be able to work things better. Plus with that, when he is expecting a reaction and don't give him one (works well with lots of practice) he will really take notice.
Giving it time also helps you think things through. Sometimes we can process it and throw it away without even bothering to react (where he would know or to him). We may realize that it wasn't even worth reacting to or bringing up.
And, when you give it time, the things worth addressing will be evident. You will have time to really mull it over. When the right time comes, it will then be addressed, in a way you really know what you are talking about. You have time to think about it, process it, and address it.
As you know, I have been holding things in for awhile. And believe me I have given it A LOT of thought. I think xh was VERY surprised he didn't hear from me. I didn't reach out at all. And since I just unleashed this week, everything I said had been though about for quite some time. Everything I said had a very valid point. They were some serious truth darts. It wasn't just me losing control and screaming because I was ticked off and reacting. He called me to talk about s which lead to the discussion.
I wasn't even going to say anything then, but he kept pushing the issue. I hit him up and down. It was all truth and reality. And I brought up so many things that he had been lying about and hiding and he had NO IDEA that I knew. Imagine his surprise that I never said a word. I never called him out. I never "reacted" to it. He called me and pushed the conversation. It was time. I am so glad I waited. I knew exactly what was important to be addressed. It was not at all a result of me being upset by him. He called me. His actions were starting to surface with s and us being called into a mtg with the counselor, psychologist, coach and both parents for an "emergency meeting."
Hang in there Shining! You are amazing and doing so well. You will find the things that make you stronger, but you are already so strong.
