I'm having some confusion now. Just blazed through about 70 pages of DR, and it said that the number one reason that marriages break down is that couples don't spend enough time together and/or take each other for granted. Guilty as charged, as I've outlined in previous posts given my job's hours and deployment/exercise/training schedule over the last 2 years. The last two days have been more pleasant, a cautionary sign I'm aware, but we've spent time doing things together, like going to the gym, running errands, and she's even indulged one of my GAL activities of trying to start up playing guitar again when we went shopping around for one.
One thing I haven't mentioned yet is that the OM is part of a larger group of friends that she had been associated with until her A was discovered. She's disappointed that because I refuse to see the OM in a social setting ever again (for his safety and mine), that she loses all these other friends in the process. Last night we went to a movie with one of them, a male, who I am pretty sure is not another OM. Still, their interactions tell me that I'm not her best friend anymore, I'm a complete outsider to all the group's inside jokes and sense of humor. Plus, they all are attached to their phones, something she wasn't before I deployed 6 months ago. I'm not sure if this person knows that his friend the OM and my W had/are having an A. Any thoughts on this type of contact?
In summary, on the positive side, spending time with the W and friends at least affords me the comfort of knowing she's not with the OM (although I'm always suspicious that she's messaging him during whatever we're doing), I feel like I'm doing something against DB or GAL by being around her so much. I've made the resolution to quit snooping, as that just blows things up in my face, and I have just about all the information I need to know what's going on anyways. The details might make me throw up anyways. On the negative, I share the feeling of many other guys here that by backing off and concentrating on GAL that it's just allowing the W to have her cake and eat it too. She is about to go out of town for almost a week, and hasn't seen the OM in 3 days, so I can only assume they have plans to meet up while she's staying with her friend (female).
