My question of why H doesn't, just file was more of me trying to understand the thought process of someone in MLC, and how they justify their behavior to themselves and others while being married.
Reasons I don't?
First, it is not what I want to do. I come here to vent and sort things out, learn and get through. I may change my mind. But, today, I don't want a divorce
Second, I believe in this process.
Third, I don't require child support or anything from H, and financially, it benefits me to remain married.
My intention is not to show anyone, H or my kids, that it's ok for him to be married to me but dating multiple women. My kids don't know about the multiples. Just ow#1 who is gone.
My intention is to show my kids that marriage is serious, and you fight as hard as you can before walking away. H is sick. They know this, they were present for the suicide attempt. Through the past months, this experience, and lots of counseling, they have a very good understanding that this isn't what a "normal" person does, this isn't just "ok". It is disrespectful, but my belief is that the disrespect is part of the fall-out effect. Not the intent on the MLC part. His only intention is easing his own pain, without regard to me.
I'm guessing some posts on my thread have made it unclear, and my h#1 story may be getting confused with current H. Although my current H and I have only been together for 6 1/2 years, I've known him since we were 13. I know his family. H isn't the one with all the red flags. Current H flipped 180. Even H family sees it. If h has been wearing a mask, then it's been all his life, which I suppose is possible.
