Thanks, Matt.


Yeah, he's sure got his priorities straight.

It's basically about avoiding feeling anything "bad" and trying to feel everything "good'.

That about sums it up.

If I make him feel "good" then I'm worthwhile.
This means stroking his ego, not having too much fun without him, keeping the home fires burning so he can discover who he is, not asking questions, not expecting anything, but not letting anybody else fill those roles while he doesn't want to.

It's letting him know I love him and I'll be here no matter what, not getting involved with anyone else, not showing him up by being competent at anything, not being smarter, nicer....no... this would make him feel BAD about himself.

It's not doing anything to remind him that he's not perfect, not bringing up the past, letting him think the fact that he has not yet stopped feeding us makes him a great guy!

In short--worshipping him, but from a respectful distance.

So as you can see, REALITY has very little place there.

Which is why I can't really compete with online fantasy women.

(Except maybe in an "in-person" smack down! smile I need me a wrestling name!)
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Horton the Hairless Wonder and I will have a wonderful time at the winery event without GUBU. His loss.
If he chooses to, he can make it all about being sad and feeling guilty.
Honestly that never occurred to me, which is why I invited him in the first place.
Silly me--I thought it might be FUN!

(FUN? What's THAT? GUBU asks...)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyhow. The basement.
I noticed that he has removed ALL his clothes, most of which he's kept here for the duration. I decided not to make anything of this. Just like him bringing all his laundry here.
He has lost weight, bought new "cool" hipster clothes, so it's possible he's just getting rid of things.
Some of the farm clothes have re-appeared, just in piles in different spots.
(He has also become a slob.)

I have deliberately NOT gotten rid of the things he wanted me to, because they are part of the furniture I might be taking with me.
The real issue with clutter down there is HIS stuff. Tools, construction crap... that's on him.

He did say he wanted to buy his friend (who has been housing him for free) a new laptop. Saying he's tried to give her rent all this time, but she wouldn't accept it.
(One wonders what that's about...not romantic, but co-dependent boss/employee enmeshment for sure.)

Why he informed me about it is anybody's guess. If I HAD to guess, it's that I'd see a charge for yet another laptop and considering his porn problem/laptop/phone stuff, I'd blow a gasket.

Not so--but that's probably why. Anyhow, he said it would come out to about $100 a month rent for her.

I answered: "Sure, I think that's more than fair. She's done so much. Get her a really nice one! smile "

So--is he planning on staying with her until he can divorce me? Perhaps so.

He has suggested many times that I should just leave.
Go live with my mother.

Just remove myself from his life, his home, his reality.
Then it will be "OVER" and he can pretend it never happened.
That's his ultimate solution.

And one reason why I'm thinking of taking a REALLY LONG TRIP to give him a real taste of what that would be like long term.
We did about a month and he worked half days the whole time.
He can't sustain that, but maybe he's forgotten.

So that's in the works as well.
If he balks at me going, well, that wouldn't make sense, would it?

That's what he's looking at in terms of living. There would be ZERO time for dating, that's for sure!

Unless he wanted to invite a few gal pals over to scoop poop, weed whack, wash incontinent dogs' pee-pads.

Where do I sign women up for that?
Because I could sure use a break!


---GGG







Me 54 Him 63
M 23 T 29
0 Kids
Funny Farm of Rescues
12/12 OW--
5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied
9/13 Proof OW: ENDED
2/14 Got D papers on my BD
I kicked him out for my sanity
9/14 He wants to "talk"?