Can I just ask - is this something that's true? Did you do this? Or is this a new idea on the scene? If it's true, you have some work to do, my friend.
In all honesty .. I have looked at my actions and contributions, I was exhausted working the 2 jobs, was not always there for her, would often be angry ... these are things I have worked on and made progress. But I am not controlling, I do know that the things I say really impacts her, but its not like I have ever controlled her, never told her what she could and couldnt do, just not my way. I think this is one of her issues but one I know I need to be sensitive about, and thats really all I can do here.
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How? You just do. It takes two people willing to do that. Two people willing to connect with one another.
Sometimes one person has to take the risk that they will get hurt and drop their barriers. Sometimes it just takes a little step and then the other takes a step and then the other takes a step and then... But somebody has to go first and risk it. And it has to be received and reciprocated.
You know what you want. Can you see a way to get it if the two of you participate? Are you able to put your hurt aside (it's what you're asking for from her, right?) and find a way?
AJ
AJ I think you are on point here, I guess its just that transition, small steps with out scaring her off that I need to do. and it does seem we are making some good progress over the past couple weeks.
Thank you for your input here, sometimes this DBing thing you are so set on the LRT and there is no set guideline on when to back off on it and start opening that door a bit wider for the WAS just so they can relax and possibly start the healing process ... understandable as similar as our sitchs are .. they are equally different ... some things work for one would set someone else back very far.
