I've made a couple other posts about our situation...me HD, W LD, 35 w/ 1 child...happily autonomous with quarterly sex where she digs it when we do it. Need to get some advice because I'm terrified to do this...
My W is having a hard time with the "generalities" like "more affection..blah blah blah". She's frusterated with how I communicate and simply wants me to list what I want. Feels similar to my folks asking me what I want for xmas where actually getting those things feels "coerced". I would spell out everything I want when I simply want her to be more "horney"...which in turn would lead to a lot of these things. It might be the "right" thing to do in our sit, but it feels like a patch instead of a comprehensive solution.
I've discovered that "talking" drives her nuts...so writing is probably the best plan. However, when I write something, I get overly careful about what I write as if it were a legal contract with big consequences. If I don't ask, I might never get...If I ask for something she thinks is wierd, she might just think I'm wierd...(I don't have any dark, hidden desires).
