I honestly have no idea what I want wrt this spouse. I am honestly taking the time right now to understand myself and my boundaries.
I don't expect a reconciled marriage to be happily ever after. I'm not even thinking like that. Really what I'm doing is spending time seeing what others seem to see so clearly, how thoroughly I've lost myself and who I really am. For the attorney to ask if he hit me... That kind of shocked me. I see a lot of patterns in my life and in my H's life that are troubling and require examination.
H at the moment doesn't fit into my picture, but I'm clearly not done so I'm just setting him aside till I'm ready to tackle him.
In any case he hasn't told me about any move to start counseling and if he came begging for a reconciliation tomorrow I wouldn't believe him without it. Probably would only half believe him with it.
Infidelity is the stinky, moldy, tarry pits.
But let it be known -- I am MAYBELL, and I will THRIVE. I'm just taking some overdue me time.
I AM MAYBELL! Hear me ROAR!
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath Scared to rock the boat and make a mess So I sat quietly, agreed politely I guess that I forgot I had a choice I let you push me past the breaking point I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything ... I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire 'Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar Louder, louder than a lion
With homage to the Helen Reddy version of the same sentiment.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
