There are three books that I would recommend for BOTH of you, after you've read (and re-read!) either Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy (the latter is more current).
The first is "Co-Dependent No More," the second is "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and the third is "Hold On to Your N.U.T.S." These are good resources for "pleaser/rescuer" types, and at gaining a better understanding of basic male/female attraction dynamics.
A great fourth one is "Boundaries," by Townsend & Townsend.
Without learning these skills, you're going to find yourselves repeating the same things even in future relationships if this one with your wife doesn't work out.
But start with DR, and with sandi's 37 rules. You might also try to get a DB coach, if you have the funds.
