What to do when an EA involved?

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks again bdub, i beat the snot out of my pillow last night and it did help relieve a lot of the anger and stress. I'll try the nail thing tonight, that sounds like a great and entertaining stress reliever.

Just some updates/journaling
We met with the real estate agent yesterday about listing the house. W seemed noticeably upset about having to sell I think she was really hoping i would decide to keep it. I asked for 24 hours to make my decision in hopes W will come around. Real estate agent expects the house to sell quickly within 2 weeks, it's going to move really fast when i give the green light.

So, SLOW IT DOWN....good grief, you do have the right to say you want to look into seeing if you can refinance (or buy her out or whatever and STALL for a bit)...

I tried to act cool and collected with the house sale and kept my emotions out of it. When W asked how I was doing with it I simply said "I love the house and don't want to sell but I can't reasonably keep it"


Next time stop the part about "BUT" b/c that usually negates and contradicts whatever you said just before. Keep that in mind btw.


, I then went to watch tv. I'm not sure how to handle 180s in this situation, on one hand my past self would have done the same thing become emotionally unattached to the situation and gone off to distract myself from the issue, on the other hand i can't become an emotional train wreck and start begging her to stay again so we can keep the house.

Must you "beg her to stay" in order to keep the house? You just said you could swing it for awhile...

I've done very well with my 180s and my W has noticed and said "i've seen flashes of the life i always wanted". However she still doesn't want to give us another try, i'm not sure why.

you are "not sure why"???? I can tell you.

BECAUSE SHE FEARS YOU WILL REVERT TO THE OLD NEGLECTFUL H, AS SOON AS SHE TAKES YOU BACK....this is not rocket science. This part is simple and clear to me.

She does seem to still care deeply for me and is concerned about how I'm feeling, I assume it's not out of love but just the concern you would have for a long term friend.

You'd be 100% wrong to "assume it's not out of love"....good grief, you have lived together your whole adult life.

You're saying You really were that lousy a man to her - that she'd want to toss all that, so fast?

Okay if you say so...