What to do when an EA involved?

[25yearsmlc]

We sat down last night and divided up all the assets, everything went really well.

When we were done and looking at our entire life split up on a single page my W broke down ran to her room and started crying for almost an hour. I took the time to go for run as she had closed her door i assumed she didn't want to see me.

I think I probably should have gone to console her, as that would be a 180. However, it also violates many of the rules.

Poor Sandi...she took the time one day to assemble some GENERAL Guidelines from the books, and then people read them as if they are gospel and apply to ALL and are written in stone. THEY ARE GUIDELINES....now there are people like you who cling to them as if they are a magic potion and if you do each step JUST SO you'll get the magic answer....

they're just well based GENERALIZED gems of advice based on the solution based philosophies of MWD, the author. HAVE YOU READ THE ACTUAL BOOKS? I missed where you answered that question...but you cannot skimp on this or use the "Study guide" in lieu of the real thing. Read the dang books.

and in there, in her assembled guidelines WE like to call "newbie rules" she even says NOT all of these apply to all situations. Use your best judgement.


Often in our relationship I would simply ignore her when she would cry, I know it was wrong

THEN DO NOT DO IT ANYMORE. Period.


but when it was almost a daily occurrence and after so many years of trying to console her, I just became desensitized to it.

= You stopped caring or putting effort into it...Wow, ouch...how lonely for her.