I had similar thoughts about my W and OM too. In my sitch she says they are just friends and she has feelings for him, but those thoughts of physical intimacy just keep coming across my mind. I too still find myself glancing at the phone if its in range to see if its OM texting or checking when she'll be away from the phone for a few minutes.
I'd recommend to let your anger fuel your detachment. I'm not saying be rude or outright mean to her, but seeing yourself not needing her. Its not easy, but it helps in my opinion. Also, keep DBing and reading all this material on the Internet that can be reassuring of your efforts during this stressful time.
In my sitch, when I checked the phone logs online I'd see she'd text OM more than everybody else collectively in a day. And texting is primarily how she communicates. Nonetheless, after seeing this day after day, I sorta gave up trying to analyze or determine what their A was really like or if she had stopped contacting him. I still find myself checking the logs online every few days or so, but by not checking it for periods of time have helped me to calm down some and worry slightly less since I won't know anyway.
On page 2 of this thread kml said,
"I suggest you also see an attorney to find out how to protect yourself financially. If there is significant money in the joint accounts you may want to move half to an account in just your name so she can't wipe out the accounts"
I'd just like to add on some input. I was active duty Army for 8 years and you are probably aware the Army or any military branch for that matter has free services for its military personnel. I don't know what military branch you are in or your status, but I highly recommend talking to your squad leader, platoon sergeant, platoon leader, chaplain, JAG, or anybody with rank who has had a divorce in the military so you can know what actions of yours will fly and won't since ya'll are married.
Me:30 W:34 M:8 T:9 D:9 D:4 D:3 S:4 S:1 D bomb: 8/2014 S 12/2014 PA Confirmed in 3/2015 if I recall correctly
