Trying to stay patient- part 5

[Cnfused]

I'm in a similar stitch but I know the more i've pulled back the more my W has stepped forward. With that being said, last night W again said she can't do this to S. i listened, validated but told her as long as she continues contact with OM their can not be a R but we are moving forward. W is in control of the direction based our her decisions which I can not control. If she wants to be with me their can not be any contact with OM. But continued contact is a deal breaker for me. That is not control, that is me doing what is best for son and me. As I said to my W you can do what you want and I want you to be happy, however I'm not willing to be in an open M. The choice is theirs, we are not controlling. We are only responding or acting based on their continued behavior. Don't believe a word of it.

Trust the advice your getting and I know it seems bassackwards. But it works and the longer you let this play out the weaker your position becomes. I'm still hopeful my M will turn around but I need to have some love, respect and honor for myself whether she comes back to R or not.

Let her go and find yourself. I've gotten to the point that I don't want the women she has become. Will the women I M ever be back? I don't know and neither can you. Do what you know you need to do - you are worth it.

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real

I truly do wish only the best for all the people here fighting for what's right and standing for their M, holding strong to their vows. When we allow the WAW w/ OM to control us and continue to cake eat we are only prolonging the bitter end. They will never get better as long as they know they can do both. Dig deep and do what you know you need to before it's to late.

If I'm wrong I hope the vets smack me around until I get it right because I've got a great memory but it's short.

Keep up the great work and let's take this to the next level together!