New here, my fairytale gone wrong

[fthnluv]

Spoke to H for a while today. I made some good moves and some bad ones. I asked about his travel plans for next week (when he is coming in and leaving, which I need to know for logistical purposes with the kids) and when he advised that he was leaving sooner than I had previously asked him to (on our anniversary, I asked him to leave late so I could take time for myself rather than having to cry in front of the kids due to the date) I told him that I was disappointed that he had not considered my request enough to make it happen. He said he did it this way so he could avoid a red-eye, which he didn't want to do, I told him that because of his decision to D we BOTH will have to do a lot of things we do not want to do and that in the future he needs to respect my boundaries in this area. He said he was planning on having my MIL take care of the kids if I was not able but I know that he knows that I would not ask that of her, just to have time alone, so it will fall on me. That was frustrating.

I also asked him about travel plans for October because I am planning D4's birthday and I wanted to make sure it worked for him because he "says" he wants to still do birthdays and holidays together. He gave me a date that works fine but says this may not work in the future if it is too uncomfortable. I told him that I plan on not making it so but that we cannot control family. I also told them that, at this point, the D is discussion, no action has been taken so I see no need to tell everyone about it anyway. He did not argue with that. I also pointed out that if the reality IS that it is uncomfortable he may want to reconsider his decision of D (because, in his "mind" he envisions D to be a life still happily shared on special events) because the reality might be more than he is willing to accept and he may decide to stay for the sake of the kids, after all. (I know this is pursuing but it's also the truth and if all the options he pictured are not actually reality (which I already know) maybe he will reconsider and allow us the TIME we really need to get through this.) He did not say yes or no to this, he mostly just stayed silent and let me talk.

Only time will tell on all of this. Not getting my hopes up because I realize the reality of the situation. I must move on with my life as-if...