This situation strikes me as really difficult-- you are not separated... but not in a monogamous R either. It doesn't seem ok for a spouse to just simply say, "I'm taking off this weekend" or even for individual days/nights on a regular basis. I don't think I could handle that.
I'm no vet, but I feel like you guys need to establish some kind of parenting schedule. Because if you are operating out of fear that she will be mad:
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She would be forced to ask her parents to watch our kids, and she may be uncomfortable doing so.
how is that getting her to respect you? She can't just walk away from her parenting responsibilities...
