Maybell XI

[Ahoy]

It's hard to know what we want because there is no magical crystal ball to consult about the future. Will we be happier with our MLC/WAS or without them in the long run? Certainly they seem to be making us pretty miserable right now, so it's hard to see a happy future with them. It can happen, but it's a gamble. One that many are prepared to make -- whether because they stand by their vows, or because they truly still love their partner and want to keep trying, or for the kids. But it is a risk, and it may not work out in the long run.

There was a great article about MLC in which a woman said she cured her husband by ignoring his MLC as if he were a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. It worked. He came back. People circulated the story as evidence that it could be overcome.

Then, a few years later, she had to write to clarify that actually they ended up getting divorced a few years down the road.

So even if we do make it through this phase, it doesn't mean that it will last.

The idea that a reconciled relationship will be smooth sailing from that point on is probably not very realistic. There will always be sore spots, trust issues. Maybe some people can get over that, but I'm not sure in my case.

I too have to abandon hope in order to move forward. Maybe I'll be surprised, but I think it's up to each of us to find our own happy endings, and provide them to ourselves, independent of others.