Feels like an eternity (Mindsin - part. 3)

[25yearsmlc]

25 - can you give me advice on what to say or do here (if anything)?

I found out today that they're making me an offer. I'm very excited!

This ^^ is wonderful news. Congratulations!

I shared this news with my W, and she was very happy for me. She suggested we should go celebrate tonight. I didn't ask her what that means. Dinner? Just the two of us?

She followed that up with her schedule for this weekend. She is basically spending the weekend with the OM, staying over Fri, Sat, and Sun nights.

See, MY problem with this^^ is that I, 25, am NOT sure she's going to be with OM. I have to trust that you are right on this, but I'm not at all sure you are.

IF you are not right and you blow her off, then you're really blowing it.

But let's assume you are correct in your assumption that she will be with OM (so tell me why she lies to you about it?)

See if she were throwing him in your face, declaring that he is THE ONE for her, it'd be something you have to confront.

But do you ever wonder if she is 1) NOT seeing him, and that's why she makes such an effort to explain where she'll be, and never mentions him, OR 2) she is trying him out and seeing if your changes are real?

I'm not saying either way, but I sure don't like making choices in a vacuum.


She talked about that canceled event from the previous Sunday that they've rescheduled this sunday. She's also explained that they are going on a sunset cruise sunday night, which is why she will be staying over sunday too.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm sort of angry about this. She just assumes that I have nothing better to do on my weekends. This is the first time she will be spending 3 nights in a row.

So you are angry that she assumes you have no plans for the weekend? IF it were me, I'd be angry that she was with another man, even if I knew I'd shoved her that way.

Have you ever told her that you REALL GET IT NOW, that you must have hurt her a lot b/c you now know how it feels?

Should I say anything back to this? It was in an e-mail. I was thinking of simply ignoring and not responding. But I also want to make it clear that I am NOT ok with this.


IF your assumption about her being with OM is accurate, there's NOTHING to say. There is no way she thinks you are okay with being with him. It only serves to weaken your position to have to say anything about it, AGAIN, as if you are clearing up her perception of you as her bff... I am with Sandi on this. Say nothing. Plus if you are not going to DO anything about it and she knows how you feel, it's wasted words...not appealing.

IF you are really SURE of this^^ OM issue, please ask your DB coach about what action to take, if any, but do NOT tell her the above.

As crazy as this might sound, I almost feel like she thinks I'm supportive of her affair and will simply accommodate her schedule at all times, which I have been with little to no objection.

Maybe you should make some plans. In fact I would and I would not mention them specifically to her. Be vague but excited about what YOU will be doing while she's on her sunset cruse (and tell me what her job is that a sunset cruise is part of the deal.)

I was in the Army and we had one of those, but that was the week before we were being deployed so I can't say it was all that rich feeling...